Continuation and Conclusion

Well, I had no idea that yesterday's post would spark so many similar topics, and has somewhat put me off making this follow up post, since the topic appears to now have been done to death, but I want to conclude my thoughts on it, regardless of the amount of other posts made along the same lines.


Remaining on the level at which I left the previous post, I find it important to look at relationships in more detail. A connection between two people who feel a thus far unexplored feeling of mutually demonstrated love. That sentence alone, whilst in words briefly summarising, in emotion it explains next to nothing. What is it that drives the people together? That drives them to deviate from logic, normal thought processes and their own convenience? Why do they go to such means to please their object of love, even if it means their own loss? What, ultimately, drives them apart again? Why is there always (well, sometimes, I suppose) such bad feeling where there was once this force, which could accomplish such feats? The entirety of it, from a purely logical perspective, defies sense.

I think to some degree the first few questions can be answered rather easily. An innate desire to please plugs itself directly into the mind of the affected person. To please the object of the love pleases the one who loves, thereby explaining that which before made no sense. You would go to such extents, at your own loss, because you are -gaining- the pleasure of pleasing the other person. Therein lies the motive which was apparently lacking when seen from a logical perspective. I can only assume by nature (without being disturbing) that evolution has driven us so that those who gain pleasure from socially advancing with others are those that breed, making it a recurring trait. That is a perhaps redundant explanation however, as "Love" as it is now becomes more detached from breeding and reproduction.

But why the hate from failed relationships? This is what confuses me. I can only assume that the love and urge to please is built on an understanding that is mutual, and is proven not to be so at a late stage in a relationship perhaps there is a feeling of... betrayal? I'm unsure, the concept seems alien to me again. I'm certain that, placing myself in that situation I would feel the betrayal certainly, but if I were to superimpose the hypothetical situation to old and current situations I can't see hate forming. Sadness, to be sure, and an end to the urge to please, but ... hate doesn't seem feasible. Perhaps this is not a common view of this, or I am simply incorrect of how I would react? I think at this stage I understand myself sufficiently to make that prediction, but my inexperience in the topic once again obstructs any form of certainty.

On a related topic; cheating. Why? It makes even less sense. That's not strictly true, I suppose, from an entirely logical perspective, it makes perfect sense to gain as much enjoyment as you can, whenever possible, but I can't help but cringe at that. Why, when you have something so fulfilling as the ability to mutually please another, risk it so completely? Especially with kids involved, where so much more is at risk. As I said in the previous post, this view was instilled very early in life, and is one of the things on which I am steadfastly certain, but it irritates me that I can't understand why people would be drawn to it. A hole in my understanding, as it were.

Once again returning tomy current situation with those thoughts in mind, I wonder whether they actually help? They don't dispell the fear of loss of friendship, or the issue of confidence. I am beginning to think them inherent parts of the enture situation, which would have to be dealt with as they arrive, since no preparation is apparently able to be formulated.

A section of the topic not able to be blogged, I start to think at this point, so I'll stop here I think.