Self Analysis; Recent Events and Capability

One thing I've always thought of myself was being able to be quite detached from events, and to be able to work out what would be the best probably course of action in any given event. However, it has never been more apparent than it has in recent times that this isn't really so. In this week alone I've shown I can be just as giddy, stupid, emotional and depressey as every other teenager you could pick out of a million. I've made errors in the past week, been blinded by my own giddiness (alas, I can't find another word that doesn't make me cringe (or at least, not as much)), had my mistakes made clear, and then entered a somewhat silly state of morose brooding, as well as becoming rather more stressed than I would like. All of this is exactly what I've seen others done and thought to myself; "My, my, glad I'm not like that and I'll never make those mistakes, poor souls". Not only is this woefuly ironic, it also drawns my own arrogance into relief, which I've been trying to track down for a while now, with the certainty it was about somewhere.

In matters of the heart and mind, one can never truly know they will not make a mistake. Every action is a risk into what you think you know.

However, that's not to say you can not learn from past experiences. For example, from this drama of a week, I can gather to be more cautious, and less stupid. Despite still lacking a means to do this, at least armed with the knowledge of my own flaws that task shall be easier.

In more immediate events, it has become increasingly apparent I don't know what to do, what any signs mean and what anything ahead is leading to. At the moment, I don't think I'm quite ready to look back on events with closure, so I shall let events take their course until a clear course of action presents itself.

To be looked back on in later times, probably after exams or, more accurately, when it's all over.