Rage and Control; The Beast and The Chains

Other things are always a-go recently, it seems, but I reckon it's important to keep the mind thinking about a few things on the go lest you become obsessed. In that spirit, this is a topic that occured to me a few days ago, not quite in the way a couple of people may jump to the conclusion of, but similarly.

It has been almost a hobby of mine to not get angry about things, intially out of spite towards attempts to wind me up, and in later times for a mix of reasons, but it's a curious endeavour, for whatever reason. Incidentally, it's probably inaccurate to say I try -not- to get angry, but instead to prevent myself from doing anything about it. To that end, it's reasonable to assume it is in fact a fairly universal trait in everyone, but that doesn't necessarily deteriorate its importance.

To begin with, lets look at anger, and its affiliated consequences. It's generally considered one of the uglier emotions, and generally doesn't really end well. However, that's not to say it doesn't have its uses. It induces additional production of adrenaline, which could save your neck in a life-or-death situation. But in a normal social situation, it merely opens the door to mistakes to be made and harm to be done. Anger itself is, for me, not really brought about by being provoked by cheap goading or physical harm, which is convenient, although I can very much understand why others would be. What gets to me more is something that grinds against more fundamental morals and thoughts, for example, unnecessary cruelty or arrogance. Is this a good position? To answer that I need a more definitive idea of "good", really, so let's assume the purpose of anger is as a form of self-empowerment as a means of defence in a life-or-death situation, and that "bad" would be a form of anger that is induced when it is not needed, and merely makes the situation worse. In that sense, anger is only really "good" when life is at risk, which I don't really think is strictly speaking correct. If someone is being cruel to my friends am I not entitled to some rage? I am drawn to say yes, but that's the obvious answer. Why is it necessary? Anger isn't the only source of adrenaline, and without that rather weak justification it is just a means of destroying a person from within. A beast, which consumes what a person thinks they stand for and regurgitates a sort of uncivilised version capable only really of destruction. It is unnecessary, an inefficient and altogether dangerous way of achieving what can be done with the mind in full control.

Control, is a matter of keeping the anger in check. The only real way of doing this, as far as I can gather, is to always be aware of what you should be doing, and think everything twice. This, of course, is easier said than done, and not always doable. Sometimes there is no time to think even once, and you're not aware of what you're doing. Even if you're able to be aware of what you're thinking all the time, and spot every time you might do something inadvisable, you're inevitably going to have to convince yourself not to take that glinting temptation. To burn with sheer fury, break some bones, end some smirks and put them all in their place. It is at these times the chains loosen and the beast stirs, ready to destroy what you've built in an instant. I don't know any surefire way to combat this. Some would say to vent it somehow, but I'm not happy with the concept. The beast still wins. Is there a better method? Now that I think about it, I don't actually know what I do, but I haven't slipped up entirely yet, despite what people might think. Incidentally, is it more dangerous to not vent it? The longer you restrain something, the more force it puts out when it does actually release. That certainly is a compelling argument, but I'm still drawn to just making use of restraint.

The beast is chained, and shall remain chained.






As a sidenote, I observe that these blogs seem to be becoming more commentaries than a form of characteral progress. I'll look into rectifying that later.